Chapter 2

Tuomas needed socks and he needed them quick. He had a fan meet'n’greet at noon, and could not be seen with his un-pedicured toes naked for the world to see. Oh how embarrassing it would be for all of the fangirls to see him in such a state! It would be published on blogs for all to read until eternity. He could envision the headlines already. “SOCKS AND AWE: TUOMAS PREPARES FOR WAR ON FASHION.” “SUPERFICIAL NO-MORE: TUOMAS’ FEETEXPOSED AS A SAD AND PATHETIC MESS WITH LITTLE HOPE OF IMPROVEMENT UNTILTHE NEXT ALBUM.” “NO SOCKS! WHAT’S NEXT? NO…” and so they went, these horrors in his head. He had to find a store so he could be sexy once more. He asked Emppu. Emppu is a dwarf and has to stand on a stool to talk to anyone of average height. He could quickly sense something was wrong, as it was one of the few times Tuomas wanted to talk to him when he wasn’t in the studio making mistakes on guitar, not being able to reach the last frets on his purple ESP midget edition.

“Emppu, is there a good clothing store around here?” asked Tuomas.

“Yes there’s a boutique just around the corner” Replied Emppu.

“That’s no good,” replied Tuomas, now quite worried. “See? I have no socks, and I can’t have paparazzi and fangirls following me and photographing me with bare feet.”

“Yeah. I know what you mean,” lied Emppu, for he had no idea what it was like to have fans.

“Hmm. Isn’t there that department store about 10 km north of Kuopio?”

Tuomas was getting desperate at this point. He could feel his career coming to a close, and was unsure if he could kill himself and come back to life a second time. Even the goth chicks would be put off by the idea of a zombie-zombie-Tuomas.

“It’s far but we will have to try. Jukka, turn the bus at the next exit. We have to go to Kuopio.”

“Aye?” said Jukka. Tuomas rolled his eyes.

“Yarrrrg matie. Plot a course north-west. We be raiding a trading post for valuable hidden treasure!”

Tuomas felt dirty, though he knew he should not have. He had endured Jukka’s pirate bullshit before, as well as hordes of fangirls chasing him every which way, begging him to read their awful fanfics.

“Aye aye captain. Plotting a course for Fort Bargain-Bin.”

So off they were. Time was short, and he hoped that they could reach their fan meet’n’greet in time.